Sorry it turns out it was one ball, singular.

Ah man, see all of the great things happen when you go on staycation. Erin Andrews was hit in the chin with a foul ball.

And there isn't any video of this?

And pity poor Mets infielder Alex Cora who hit the ball. The internets are full of people with unhealthy and irrational obsessions with Ms. Andrews. Cora probably has numerous hate groups organized on Facebook right now. I know, I learned the hard way when I dared to mention that Andrews might not be the hottest chicks in the world.

This is just one of those things that I'll never get. Much like the plot of LOST.

AND FINALLY, yeah I know, not much here. But there isn't much going on and like I said, I'm in the middle of a staycation so I'm limiting my computer time. But one thing I have seen scrawled across the screens is Chad Ochocinco's intention of Tweeting during NFL games.

On one hand, you hate to see an attention-seeking receiver make a bigger fool of himself by attempting to stay connected during a game. But on the other hand, you really like to see somebody tweak the ultra-conservative NFL. And really, you have to believe the NFL is likely most upset about Ochocinco's intention mainly because the league cannot make a buck off of it. Because you had better believe it, if the NFL could make any sort of money from No. 85 using Twitter during a game, then you the league certainly would.

And really, the NFL has sideline reporters stationed behind the benches to get the latest scoop during NFL broadcasts. So why would the league even care if somebody was using Twitter during the game? A Tweet from a player seems to be much better than a sideline reporter overhearing a conversation. But again, it's the money.

My guess, the NFL makes Twitter pay money to have players Tweet during the games. Maybe that's not as sexy as having Erin Andrews catch batting practice with her chin. But this could generate a new revenue stream for the league.

Labels: The Weak Ender

Ron Artest is nuts. News flash, I'm sure. Like what other mysteries of the world could I possible impart on the world? Tiger Woods is good at golf. Marisa Miller is hot. And A-Rod likes manly chicks so much, he should start dating one of the Williams brothers.

So we get it, Artest is nuts. But he went completely overboard during his opening news conference with the Lakers.

Artest alluded to the notion that he was underpaid (by NBA standards) but admitted that if you can't live on $33 million, then you cannot live on anything.

Wait, what? An NBA player admitting that having millions of money is enough? That should never happen. Remember, it was Patrick Ewing who said that NBA players might make a lot of money, but they also spend a lot, too. Yes, in child support. However, Ewing is so hard-up for money, though, he's selling out for Snickers.

This is truly troubling. An NBA player claiming that being rich is a good enough. This reads like an Onion or Sports Pickle spoof article because a.) you would never expect an NBA player to admit this and 2.) you wouldn't expect that player to be Artest.

For some reason, though, I'm expecting good things from the Artest era. So much so, that I'm already looking forward to next year's playoffs.

For starters, isn't it funny how Michael Jackson is forgiven for his egregious actions with children following his death, while a perceived good guy like Steve McNair is looking like a bigger a-hole in death?

Maybe you should live life as a d-bag because death seems to be the ultimate cleanser.

And with that, some people like to believe that death increases your Hall of Fame credentials. Though, that has been proven on occasion. Just look at Bob Hayes and Art Monk. Former Redskins safety Sean Taylor also got a sweep of Hall of Fame sentiment after he was gunned down (and was omitted from that earlier rant). People have obviously regained their senses about that one. Seriously, he ran over a punter in the Pro Bowl. Whoopie!

Now people are trying to get McNair into the Hall of Fame. Please stop people. McNair was a pretty good quarterback and did some great things. But the criteria should be, can you tell the history of the NFL without this person? And really, you can. Coming from Alcorn State was a great story, but not greater than say, Doug Williams -- who also has the caveat of having a Super Bowl win. And really, if you are going to be a quarterback in the Hall of Fame without a Super Bowl title, you had better be damn special. But compared to his peers, McNair does not stand out.

You cannot blame people for their knee-jerk reaction to stories like this. McNair's death is hitting some hard. However, that doesn't mean that the Pro Football Hall of Fame should lower its standards.

Though, that might be a very liberal interpretation. The Summer of THN, however, continues to roll on with a week-long vacation. But, I know that some of you want to make Steve McNair jokes, but want somebody else to be the bad guy, so let me take a break from my siesta to drop some knowledge.

If the editors in Nashville have any balls, the headline following McNair's funeral will read, "Air McNair grounded for ever."

There is no way that it is too soon. You should have read my Twitter entry moments after everything went down.

I don't wan to make light of the situation, but when you consider Rae Carruth, O.J. Simpson, Leonard Little, Ray Lewis' posse, Donte' Stallworth, Michael Vick, etc., it's nice to get one in our ledger joining Fred Lane's widow.

McNair will get a patch or armband from the Titans. What does Stallworth's victim get? Sorry, I just cannot get too worked up over this. Yes, it's sad when somebody dies. But it happens every day. The guy was dating a woman while he was married and this is the kind of stuff that can happen. I will always appreciate McNair's talents on the field, but you aren't getting me to bite on this story.

But you know who is likely really pissed right now? Brett Favre. He was probably going to announce his return this week, but cannot do it. Not without being accused of acting like an attention whore, trying to steal the spotlight away from McNair's passing.

AND FINALLY, yeah, cutting it short right now because my XX bottle is starting to bleed. But eBay and Craig's List will not allow people to sell their Michael Jackson memorial tickets. WTF. Everybody else is in the world is allowed to profit from his death, but we aren't?

Oh, and for the record, Michael Jackson's post-Jackson Five music blew. So now, I will not respect his talent.

Labels: The Post Mortem

There is nothing like starting the Fourth of July weekend with a photo of an All-American girl at an All-American sporting event.

Oh wait.

But as Earl Bloom over at the From the Dugout blog says, you have to dig that form. You don't learn that in Russia.

Hopefully by the time you are reading this, Brett Favre has already signed his deal with the Minnesota Vikings. Both team and player trying to sneak this deal across at the last moment. And really, you hope that is true so that you suckers still working today have something to read about.

READ A blog post from Jamie Dukes on NFL.com. Weird, for sure.

Dukes -- if you are not sure who he is, played in the NFL I believe -- is under the assumption that players and entertainers are people too, and that we should give them a break when an athlete breaks the law or acts against the social norms.

That's a great thought and everything. These young kids are given millions overnight and you can imagine that they will probably run wild.

However, all of the money in the world would not make me build a fake Disneyland at my house to lure kids over in order to molest them. All of the money in the world would not lead me to start a dog-fighting ring. All of the money in the world would mean that I would always call a cab. All of the money in the world would not lead me to shoot up a strip club. All of the money in the world would not lead me to have unprotected sex with numerous women and then not have enough to kick down for the abortion.

And maybe more importantly, all of the money in the world does not mean that I would kill my ex-wife and some poor waiter returning her sunglasses while children are sleeping upstairs.

Athletes are not normal people like us. Normal people like us go to jail when we make mistakes.

Enjoy your holiday.

Labels: The Weak Ender

ESPN the Magazine ranked the top sports organization in sports and it should come as no surprise that the Angels are the top of the list.

What, were you expecting the Raiders?

Some teams preach commitment to excellence, others live it. The Angels are that organization. The Angels excel where organizations such as the Raiders and Dodgers lag far behind.

Here are some of the reasons given by ESPN the Magazine. A damn fine magazine that, although I have never read it, must be pretty good.

• The fans love going to the stadium. The Angels have had a couple of incidents this year with a fan getting punched down the stairs and an off-duty cop (a Los Angeles cop, mind you) firing at some fans. But even with those incidents, an Angels game doesn't seem unsafe. There's never a take-your-life-in-your-hands feeling that you get from going to Dodger Stadium. And that's just on the drive up. Raiders violence is legendary and doesn't need embellishment. The only time there are really uneasiness at Angels Stadium is when the Dodgers, Red Sox and Yankees are in town. Even then, the tide has turned so that Angels Stadium is at least half-filled with Angels fans now.
  

• Angels fans also show up to games. The article mentions that even during a recession, the Angels have faced a dip of just over 200 fans per game. That antiquated notion of Angels fans not showing up in force clearly isn't at work here, even in this economy. Obviously this town supports a winner. Which isn't a bad thing. Why do people always complain when fans only support winners. That's what you should do.
  

• Here's one of the kicker: Tickets to root-root-root for the 2009 Halos cost an average of just $20.05, and the total fan cost to attend an Angels game is the fifth lowest in MLB and 32% less than it costs to attend a Dodgers game. The fifth lowest in MLB. Dodgers fans are paying more money to drive to LA, risk their lives on the road and in the stadium, and the product hasn't reached the Angels level in recent years. Hard to believe that these teams lose money. And the Raiders, how do they even get fans in the stadium? Are these the kind of people that find prison showers welcoming?

• Mike Scioscia Imagine that, having a competent field general leading your team. This is where the Angels kind of lose it for me. The team would be much better if they had a puppet in the manager's chair, with the actual decisions coming from Artie Moreno. Either that, or maybe the Angels could take the manager from the Ayres Inn on Douglas and make him the hitting coach. The Raiders basically did that with Tom Walsh a few years ago.
  

The biggest reason is the owners. Moreno lowered beer prices as his first act as owner. That makes Moreno seem like one of your drinking buddies is running the team. Like a cooler version of Mark Cuban -- sans the too-tight T-shirts. Moreno might boooze at the games, but he isn't in the dugout suites yelling at officials. He keeps the players happy for the most part unless they turn down generous contract offers like K-Rod and John Lackey did. Beer prices are fair with $6 Pacificos all over the stadium. The stadium food is good as the Ruby's chili cheese fries dominate. Parking is only $8, and the only real hassle comes with the d-bag trinity (Dodgers, Red Sox and Yankees). Angels fans have it pretty good with Moreno. Take a look at some of the other owners in sports.

The Dodgers put all of its marketing into Mannywood, and he ended up testing positive for steroids. Note, the Rally Monkey will not test positive for steroids. You cannot tailgate in the parking lot, even after paying $20. Ticket prices are way higher. They put in a beach party in the upper deck (which should get more scorn in this space) and sold endless hotdogs during the height of the Swine Flu.

Making fun of Davis is too easy now. Davis does try, give him that, but time has past him by. Much like your uncle who still cracks racist jokes at Thanksgiving and forwards unflattering, off-color jokes about the President.

The Clippers and Donald Sterling are rated as the worst, just one step -- I figure -- ahead of the Raiders. The only difference between Davis and Sterling is that the Raiders do want to win. The Clippers are just another Hollywood accessory.

Angels fans should feel pretty fortunate for the situation that they have.

Labels: Angels baby

JaMarcus Russell was starting to feel the heat this year when the Raiders brought in Jeff Garcia, and seemingly any available quarterback out there. In fact, Al Davis told his scouting staff to bring in that Shane Falco chap he enjoyed watching so much.

Message received.

Russell then decided to act like he wanted to keep his job. He told everybody to work hard. He told all of his teammates that they were going to get together for extra work, outside of OTA.

Russell looked like the model of commitment. Until he skipped the final day of voluntary minicamp.

And we know just how voluntary those workouts are. Kind of like when the boss drops those Girl Scout cookies forum on his desk. Or asks if you wouldn't mind coming in for a few hours on the weekends.

Russell always seemed more enamored with being a celebrity and being a pro football quarterback. Not so much on the working. Well, he won't have to worry about the later much longer. Russell is going to be watching Raiders games from the sidelines because Garcia is going to get that job.

Labels: lazy jerks

With this video full of win!

Labels: actually he's not drunk enough to be a GA participant, Reporter might want to stop dressing like a buster if he's going to hang on Fremont

Actually, that would be the least of your worries. Air Asia has signed a deal to sponsor the Oakland Raiders.

Air Asia does not, however, offer service to Oakland.

Seems that Al Davis had to go far out of his way to find a company that had no idea just how badly his team sucked. And he found it. In Asia. You would have to imagine that even the Somali pirates would have known better.

Now Air Asia passengers will be able to get on a plane with the Raiders logo. And I ask, is that really fair? Now, if you or I were at LAX and we saw Southwest roll up with a Raiders plane, we'd be like, "no way I'm getting on that (expletive) thing." Because we know better. Think of all of those unsuspecting Asian people getting on a Raiders plane and having no idea that it's doomed like a pass from Marc Wilson.

And really, we can all agree that one of these planes are going down, right?

Those Asian people getting on those planes are akin to all of those idiot tough guys with Chinese characters tattooed on their arms, not knowing what they really mean (normally small penis). But at least those morons get to live.

Labels: Air Raiders, bad idea jeans

Can we be honest for a moment? Hating on soccer is so dated. Kind of like the Jim Rome Show. Which, incidentally, continues to hate on soccer though it has long since past fashionable.

With that in mind, the U.S. team's loss to Brazil on Sunday was a major disappointment. The U.S. soccer team gets the same kind of fans that say, the Los Angeles Kings enjoy. The team has a small number of loyal, hardcore fans. But when they win, the fringe fans come out in droves.

So it's little surprise that interest was high in (whatever the name of that) Cup Finals. And little surprise that the U.S. team came out strong, but faded down the stretch. The U.S. team is like one of those small college teams that is slugging with the big boys, but ends up folding down the stretch. Like a March Madness team that pulls a couple of upsets in the opening rounds of the opening tournament, but eventually falls to one of the sport's super powers.

And in the end, you wonder if anybody will remember those huge upsets, or if the sting of losing that two-goal lead will be what lingers. Right now, I'd lead towards the former.

Soccer has long been viewed as a low-scoring, snooze-fest. That's just not the case. Attach seven points to each goal scored on Sunday, and instead of a 3-2 squeaker, you get a nice, familiar 21-14 final.

That doesn't seem so dull does it? And imagine if teams got a fraction of a point for corner kicks.

This is a disappointing game for the U.S. on the scoreboard. And while I hate moral victories, you have to appreciate what the team pulled off.

Now, if the team flames out in the World Cup qualifying, then all bets are off.

HOPE YOU saw where Chad Ochocinco compared the death of Michael Jackson to 9/11. Having athletes communicate directly and eliminating "I was misquoted" is awesome. Now, Ochocinco eventually back-tracked on his statements. But come on, he made an analogy. Was it apt, but come on. That's pretty much the only argument I can think of right now. Sure it was bad, but come on. Come on is such a great way to end an argument.

THE BUCCANEERS are no longer in the Plaxico Burress sweepstakes. In other words, they hate winning. Sorry, Scott.

BILLS LB Paul Posluszny says don't believe the hype about Terrell Owens. The receiver has been a model teammate. And this is news? This is what they all say at the start. And then he becomes T.O. again. Just be sure to watch the Superstars this week. Oh yeah, he'll be back.

THE CHARGERS' version of the single-wing will be known as "The Frog," with LaDainian Tomlinson taking on the role of quarterback. Oh man, I'm so happy people don't want to take LT in fantasy leagues this year. He's going to have a monster year, people.

THE SAINTS are now clearly Drew Brees' team as he is becoming the top QB in club history. Have the Saints ever had a great quarterback? Maybe Kenny Stabler, but he was at the end of his career. Weird seeing the Saints with an actual legitimate quarterback. Because honestly, there isn't one that stands out in their history.

THE LIONS are trying to win fans over, inviting former season-ticket holders to minicamp in an effort to get them back. How about winning. That might do something to motivate fans to come back to the Lions. Or at least become Lions fans. Tickets to minicamp isn't going to cut it.

AND FINALLY, poor Michael Jackson. All of those tributes for him are now going to end now that Billy Mays has passed away and stolen the spotlight. Sure Jackson had sex with a lot of young boys wrote Thriller. But that was like 1982. Billy Mays was here and now. A true American icon we could all believe in.

Going to pour out some Oxiclean out right now for Billy. His wife should do a commercial. I'm the widow Mays ... did you know that Oxiclean gets the smell of death out of your house?